How many Summers?

Anna and I had been friends since we were 13 and although life and work and college meant we didn’t see each other all the time anymore, I was young and naïve enough to believe she was a friend who would always be in my life. We would share the big things and not sweat the small stuff. I went to her wedding in 2000, she came to my 21st party and I went and sat beside her hospital bed on my 22nd birthday (there had been a rupture and emergency surgery that had side swiped everyone) and listened as Anna told me they had removed most of the cancer. All that were left were tumours the size of rice grains and pin heads. She would be fine after a little chemo she reassured me. In 2003 I went to her funeral.

My friend Kelly was so kind to keep me updated on what was going on during those last couple of years of Anna’s life (she lived closer to Anna), and it was never good news that she was sharing so it can’t have been easy for her. I will be forever grateful to Neil and Sarah (Sarah was close friends with Anna and me too) who held my hands and kept me sat on the pew in the church that day as Anna’s Dad stood at the front of the church and spoke of Anna’s strength of character like she wasn’t right there behind him. I whispered to Neil and Sarah that I couldn’t do it. It was wrong. I wanted to leave, to be anywhere else but there with the sun streaming through the fractured colours of the stained glass window, lighting up one of the best families I’ve ever known and the coffin of someone who had so much to live for. I am forever glad I stayed and worked through the fear and pain of that moment.

What does that do to you, when you lose a friend at such a young age? Make your mortality up front and centre as you battle a paranoia that some cell in your body has mutated and is working against you, trying to coerce all the other cells into joining their deadly gang? Absolutely. Does that last forever? Maybe. You might have to do some work on yourself and some therapy but when you do, years later, finally – I was going to say shake it off but you never “shake it off”- learn to shrink the fear to a manageable size, what then?

I am old enough now to realise that Anna and I would probably have drifted apart, my friendship with Kelly can bear testament to that. Not my friendship with Sarah though, she and I have made it through the years. We speak once or twice a year, sometimes dropping out of contact for a few years but whenever we get back together we pick straight back up, catching up on what’s happened and what’s going to happen. Sometimes we look back and reminisce but mostly our friendship is about the future and what might come to pass.

A couple of years ago Sarah sent a message asking if we wanted to go on a sailing holiday with her and her husband Scott. Hell yes was the answer from Neil and me. The kids were all meh about it. Hanging out for a week on a boat when they didn’t know Sarah and Scott that well, they decided it would be too boring for words and chose to stay home with the grandparents.  We flew off to Greece and what a time we had, sailing around the islands. It was during the Spanish Plume which was crazy hot so we anchored in a different cove each night and made sure we were out to sea during the day. We returned home from Greece with funny stories and lovely pictures. The kids kicked themselves for missing out so when the group holiday question came up this year they were definitely enthusiastic, especially when we said they could take a friend each too.

It was a great holiday. One of the best yet. We sailed, we swam, we laughed, we battled stormy seas and sea sickness with some of us (Sarah) throwing up. We ate lovely food, indulged in boat drinks but most of all we spent time – that most precious of commodities – together making memories and I think that is the way in which Anna most shaped my life.

I am grateful for my time here on earth, for all these days I’ve had so far, even the shitty ones, because at any moment I could be gone. So do I invest in the best clothes, phone, car, anything materialistic? No. My thing is making memories and having experiences. Even if that’s just coming to the yard. We will welcome you warmly and give you a cup of tea and some of our time so that when you recall Neil Thompson Boats it’s a good memory and experience.

If the worst happens, and I know that it can, my family won’t collectively remember my things but they will remember the concerts we went to (Raye in Brightlingsea a week before she cleaned up at the Brits was a highlight Grace and I will never forget and such a treasured shared experience), the time we went mud larking on the Thames , or when the four of us camped in a Hilux as we travelled round Iceland and how on the whale watching tour Archie refused to look at the humpback whales as they breached the waters behind him (moody teens are unbelievable), or how we gawked at the mega yachts as we sailed the Amalfi coast. And what about all the family meals, or the summer I taught the teens the Hokey Cokey. My family and boating friends will remember how I have to say a prayer for the fish’s souls whenever we go fishing, the kids will recall the summer they learned to wakeboard. Archie will never forget the summer he and his Dad watched Nickleback in concert (Yes, Archie loves the 90s rock band) then he flew off to take part in the tall ships race and and on his return to the UK he and his Dad went to a surf camp in France for a week.

My kids will also remember the summers that cost very little, where we spent time playing beach rounders with rugby rules, the beach BBQs with fresh caught fish and sweaty undercooked sausages, or the summer evenings slipping through the mud as we collected samphire from the marsh, the warm nights where we swam down at Cley or in Bakeney Quay. None of us will forget this summer as Grace got her own speed boat and spent the summer whizzing her girlfriends around in it. They all looked so fabulous that Auntie Emms nicknamed it the Barbie Boat which caused the girls to nickname the boys in their speed boat ‘The Kens’.

So, no matter how tough times get in the coming years  the one non-negotiable are the boats because when we are on the water we are different from our land selves. On a boat the goal is to chill out and have fun. Have a drink, lay in the sun, wait for the tide to come in or go out, to think, ‘Am I hungry?’ Should I go for a sail? Will this wind ever drop so we can ski on glass?’

We have had our best and treasured times on a boat and that’s the key word here; time. On a boat you’ve got nothing but time and you are spending it in the wisest of ways, by nourishing your soul and creating memories to carry you and your loved ones through the darker days of life.

Does boating take a lot of money? Most definitely more than you want to spend.

Does looking after a boat take a lot of time? If you do it yourself, yes, definitely.

Is it worth it? Yes, Yes, a thousand Yeses.

Remember, while we think we are all going to get at least 80 summers, nothing is certain. So while you could buy yourself a new Apple watch, a bigger TV, a better car, you could also be spending that money on tickets to a concert with your bestie or a boat holiday with your family. You could be committing your time and money to creating memories and shared experiences because that will be the legacy for those you leave behind.

This video is the legacy of our summer and this blog is dedicated to Anna, Kit, Jonny and Simon. All too good to be gone and all deserved at least one more summer….